I did it! I completed my three years at university. For those of you who don’t know, I studied English Literature and Creative Writing. It was a difficult three years for me for many reasons. But now, as they say, I have to join the ‘real world’. As if I have been living in a fantasy world up until this point.
It is a bittersweet moment for me. I’m glad to have my education behind me and I graduated with an Upper Second Class Honours. I worked super hard and I am proud of myself for doing it. I met loads of amazing people and made amazing memories.
But I’m at a bit of a loss as I write this. I moved out my uni house around three weeks ago and have been scouring the internet for a job ever since. It is honestly soul destroying.
You go from being a full time student, having a purpose and being independent, to being unemployed, nothing to do but watch day time telly and living back with your family. As much as I love my family, I’ve gotten used to doing my own thing. And that’s the brutal reality of graduating for a lot of people and for me right now. It’s devastating. It’s boring. And it’s just downright depressing.
To be totally honest, the past three weeks I have felt so low. I’ve gone from being productive every day, to literally waking up and watching tv and applying for jobs. I feel like I can’t go out and do anything, because I’m wasting money I don’t have. And I am sick to death of it.
In the past three weeks, I have applied for somewhere between thirty and fifty jobs. Do you know how mentally exhausting it is to apply for so many jobs and get so many rejections? This is meant to be easy for me, I have a degree! Or so getting a degree was sold to me. But no, it feels impossible.
I’ve given up applying for jobs that are actually to do with my degree, because despite my three years of university I feel inadequate and under-qualified for everything. These jobs want someone with experience but aren’t willing to give the necessary experience. I feel like I’m stuck in catch-22. I’ve had it.
University is supposed to open a world of opportunities for you, but I just feel like I’m not better off than I was three years ago.
I don’t regret my time spent, but I just think this is something that no one speaks about. It’s a weird and surreal experience. I hate it. I can’t wait to have a job, anything will do at this point. As much as I’d love to be using my degree, I’m feeling disheartened and not full of hope that I will at this point in time.
I can’t help but think that this period of time post-graduation has tainted the happy moment somewhat.
I didn’t intend for this to turn so negative. This is a huge achievement for me. But I told myself when I was going to write a blog I’d be nothing but honest. I wanted to share this experience, because I’m sure it’s somewhat universal. And I was always told ‘write what you know’ and this is what I know right now.
Anyway, if you know anyone who’s hiring hmu!
Lucy Jane x